Pornography as a Primary Coping Mechanism

An important question to ask yourself is: "To what degree is pornography my primary coping mechanism?" That is, when you are experiencing negative emotions/situations, how often do you turn to pornography as a means of escape? This includes, but is not limited to the following: depression, anger, frustration, regret, boredom, disappointment, being stressed out, fear, jealousy, anxiety, guilt, being in pain, embarrassment, loneliness, exhaustion, sadness, resentment, being annoyed, etc.

In order to make progress in the battle against lust, one must learn new ways of coping. Outlined here are three easy-to-use steps to get rid of of pornography as your primary coping mechanism and replace it with something positive.

Step 1: Learn to properly identify (name) your current emotions.
Despite what popular culture believes, men have emotions. To be able to name them these emotions is to be able to regulate them. Recall that Adam's naming of the animals symbolized his dominion over them. So out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name (Genesis 2:19).

Step 2: If you are experiencing negative emotions or situations, do not lead yourself into temptation.
Recognize that in the past, you've turned to dangerous situations in order to cope. If you want purity, you must not put yourself in harm's way. For example, Johnny recently had a heated argument with a loved one that ended unresolved. He regrets some of the things he said. His workload is growing faster than he can handle. Johnny is bored. He thinks that checking his email and surfing the net will be a great way to relax. Naturally, Johnny is putting himself in the devil's crosshairs. Any number of activities would be more beneficial.

Step 3: Find and utilize new coping mechanisms.
Once you've identified a negative emotion, you must discover new ways to relax and feel better. These coping mechanisms work best if they are: (a) engaging, (b) avoid temptation - see Step 2, and (c) are productive. Thus, television and the internet are not good coping mechanisms. They typically fail to fulfill one or more of the above criteria. Also, different men will need to utilize different coping mechanisms. For example, some men will find that reading is not engaging enough (and leaves the mind open to lustful images). For other men, reading may be extraordinarily helpful. Other great coping mechanisms could include: weight-lifting, playing a musical instrument such as guitar, cleaning your vehicle, praying the Rosary, taking a walk, speaking to a friend over the telephone or in person, drawing or some other art project, starting a ministry, etc. The possibilities are endless, so discover what works best for you.

Choose some new coping mechanism (method of relaxation/feeling better) right now. Say to yourself, "The next time I'm feeling a negative emotion, I will recognize it, name it, and do something positive." Now follow through! You'll feel much better, be more constructive, and avoid sin.